Man of Snow
by dovahseahrol
Summary: Yukio's hurt, and finally allows himself some of the comfort he needs and deserves.


**Disclaimer:** Own nothing. Don't seek to gain any profits from this. Just borrowing my favourite characters for some fun.

 **A/N:** Mindless stuff for Yukio at 02.41 because my heart hurts for him. Longer note at the end.

 **1: Blind**

 _Sometimes, you must lose your sight in order to truly see._

Yukio woke with a start, panting heavily, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. His mind was still partially obscured by the fog of unconsciousness as he tried to sit up and reach for his glasses, becoming dimly aware of the fact that he was on a bed of some kind. Immediately, a pain shot through his side at the attempted movement, and he fell on his back, grimacing through his agony.

Along with the pain came two other realizations; he couldn't open his eyes, and he was restrained on a bed.

He resisted the urge to thrash.

"Easy there, kid."

He recognized that voice, and it was like a spark of light in the darkness. "Shura," he managed somehow, for a moment failing to recognize his own hoarse voice. "Let me go, I–!" Instinctively, he tried to get up once more, and this time, he couldn't keep in a pained grunt.

" _Calm down,_ Yukio!" Shura's hand was on his shoulder, pushing him down, holding him in place. The touch was at once reassuring and suffocating as the darkness caved in around him, making him feel dizzy. Then, the memories came. At first they were disjointed images, flashbacks of blue vision and rapid action, accompanied with incoherent sentences. Soon enough, however, came more fluid sequences, and along with them, his own feelings. The anger and frustration, Toudou's taunts, the truth, Rin's flames, his own grotesque power and lack of control, and Shiemi.

… _Shiemi._

His heart dropped to his stomach, and he choked on his words. "S-Shura– I…what did I–" he swallowed, his impeccable outer exterior of composure in tatters. "Is Shiemi okay?"

"No thanks to you," the older woman replied casually, letting go of Yukio's shoulder, but staying within arm's reach. "Totally went bonkers there now, didn't you, Four Eyes?" She touched his forehead with her index finger. "That's what happens when you keep it all bottled up inside: it explodes."

Yukio swallowed, unable to voice his thoughts, his feelings a cocktail of guilt, self-directed anger, and frustration.

He truly hated himself more than anyone, and he did not know why he was still alive.

"Get that pathetic look off your face," Shura's voice was at a greater distance than before. "I'm sending her in." He heard the door softly click behind her before he could even register her words, let alone react.

Not even a minute passed between Shura leaving and the door being thrown open once more.

"Yuki-chan!"

How could she do it? How could she still care about him? Trust him? Come close to him? To the monster who almost killed her.

"Does it…does it still hurt?" She asked timidly. She was already standing beside his head, he could tell.

He only silently nodded in response.

Slowly.

"Why are you here, Shiemi?" He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. Here she was, for no one's sake but his, and all he could do was to be the abrasive jerk that he was and try to push her away. "I didn't mean, I–" he fumbled for words, trying and failing to repair the damage he had caused.

"If it bothers Yuki-chan and he would rather rest, I can come back later," Shiemi replied, not heeding his later words, and he could hear the disappointment in her voice behind the façade of cheerfulness.

It broke something inside him that even the darkness couldn't.

"No, please," he didn't care how weak and vulnerable he sounded in that moment. "Please stay, Shiemi. Although I do not deserve it, please…" He could say no more, and instead tried to raise his hand to reach for her, as much as he could through the tight bonds around his forearms.

"Yuki-chan…" Shiemi trailed off, and he felt her shift closer to him.

Instinctively, he tried to scoot aside, to little avail. The feeling of Shiemi's weight sinking into the bed stopped his pointless struggle to create space, and he felt her warmth seep into him. He wanted desperately to see her, to hold her smile in his gaze. Yet the bandages around his eyes remained firm and unyielding. No sooner did the thought cross his mind did he realize that the darkness is what protected her from him.

From what he could do to her.

He'd claw his eyes out if it meant he could see her one last time.

"Yuki-chan, _please_ ," there was a plea in her voice that mirrored his own, as if she had read his thoughts. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, to apologize to her, and make her a thousand promises to always protect her smile.

But he was helpless, and there was nothing he could do.

He turned his head to the side.

Suddenly, he felt the trace of her fingertips over his eyes, a ghost of a touch, completely unexpected. Then she buried her fingers in his hair, and he melted. "You deserve everything in the world, Yuki-chan. Everything except this pain you always put yourself through. And it breaks my heart, Yuki-chan. So please," she whispered, "please don't do this to yourself anymore."

"Shiemi, I–" Yukio was at a loss for words once more; that seemed like the theme of the day for him. She ran long, gentle strokes through his hair, brushing his scalp, and he almost purred, years upon years of physical and emotional strain slowly easing from his system to leave a peaceful blankness in its place.

When she stopped her ministrations, he yearned for more.

"Promise me you won't get hurt anymore?" Came her soft, yet determined demand. "Promise me you won't push me away again?" Who was he to deny her? In fact, how had he been stupid enough to not see the strength that came from his love for her? How had he been blind to _her_ love for _him_?

"I promise, Shiemi." He took a quiet oath, which he would hold until the last breath left him. "I promise."

* * *

 **A/N:** So idk what this is actually. Just felt like Yuki/Shiemi was an endangered pairing, and I in general did not find anything to fix my Yuki heartache, so I decided to do something about it myself. He's gone through so much, the poor guy, and I definitely feel he deserves some TLC. I don't know if I will write more of this, if it will be a story, or just a collection of random one-shots, or what.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it, and let me know what you think. Comments and constructive critique very welcome!

Also, as a last note, I am currently on chapter 45 of the manga. I know it only gets worse for Yuki boy, so it breaks my heart even more.


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